HATE is such an ugly word. When the girls would come home from school and say, “I hate …..”, I would correct them and say “No, you dislike …..”. I have pushed this idea on them since they could talk, as the word generates such negative emotions. Hate is just a word that carries to many negative connotations and baggage.
That said, F our oldest came home yesterday with her girlfriend and said “Well mum we just experienced our first full on Gay Hate today.”
I knew this day would come, and all I can say is that I am glad that it happened in here and not while they were far away at University.
My first reaction was to pop up out of my chair from my upstairs office, and look over the half wall at the two of them standing at the front door; to make sure they were both still in one piece. After I had seen that they both still had all of their limbs, and there were no visible signs of injury I asked them what had happened.
Here is their account of what occurred…
F: “We were standing in line at the Steak & Shake waiting to get our order of milkshakes. A was in front of me and I was behind her with my arms wrapped around her. Like we were spooning. That was all, just like any other teenage couple would do. We were minding our own business, when this much older gentleman approached us and in a very loud voice for the entire restaurant to hear said…”
Hey you assholes stop doing that shit.
F: “Excuse me sir?”
There are children here, knock that shit off.
Have you ever been punched in the face?
F: “Are you going to punch me in the face?”
I could, I’m going to…
F: “It’s illegal to punch me in the face, are you threatening me?”
Well what you are doing is illegal.
F: “Sir, our LOVE is not illegal.”
At this point the manager of the Steak & Shake came out from behind the counter, and asked the gentleman to leave the girls alone and apologized to the girls. F and A then left the restaurant as they had obtained their milkshakes, and were shaken. Usually they stay and hang out as they have always been welcomed there, and are left in peace to have a cheap date.
The next day #1 Traveling Companion popped into the Steak & Shake to speak with the manger. He wanted to thank him for coming to the girls aide. The manager was nervous at first thinking that The Hubs would be upset with him. The Hubs told him that we appreciated that he came to their aide, and stood up for the girls. The manager, who is in his thirties said he was so shocked that an adult would treat the girls in such a manner considering it was 2015. He also said that they were regulars, and he loved having them in the restaurant.
When F “came out”, I was nervous that she would receive HATE. I didn’t care about us, I cared about her and her sister and how people would treat them. I am a grown woman who has traveled the world, I have seen and been on the receiving end of ignorance and HATE. I never want our girls to have to go through that. That said, the way she handled herself, and came home and told me about it, only makes me more proud to state that I am her mother 🙂
That man who showed his bigoted, ignorant, hatred only did two things that day. He embarrassed himself, and proved himself to be so very ironic in using crass words and threatening violence in front of his grandchildren, because of his distaste for SAME LOVE.
I hope that his grandchildren will be able to see past his ignorance and hatred and understand that love, kindness and acceptance is the way to lead ones life.
I am grateful as the mum of a gay teen that this country is becoming more and more tolerant, but we have so much more work to do. I too watched the Bruce Jenner interview, and already knew the statistics that they quoted about murder, assault, and suicide of our transgender population. It is a horrible fact, that I hope is reduced by the conversations that were started that night. I watched as my Twitter account posted many, many positive and encouraging Tweets. Tweet This
My hope is that as we send our daughter off to University, that people get to know her for who she is. I hope that where she plants herself is open, kind and accepting. I hope that she is surrounded by people of like mind as she. LIVE AND LET LIVE, LOVE….
As I said at the beginning, HATE is such an UGLY word, LOVE is so much nicer…