As I enter into my 46th year, yep I just admitted my age I sit back and revel in my 40’s. I am aware of myself, of what I was when younger, where I was in life and where I am now. I am self-assured/self-reliant, forthright, liberated, and sensuous. As I look around my groups of friends, and the neighborhood that I live in I see a change. Gone are the women pushing strollers and carrying toddlers ~ enter the women who are out to work and giving direction to their teenagers or young adolescents…
In my twenty’s I was seeking out others to fulfill my confidence and happiness. I was searching for a partner and having fun along the way. I didn’t know to set boundaries and I had no clue as to what those were and accepted bad behavior from others as just the way they were. I was not comfortable in my own skin, and lacked the self-assured confidence that has come with time.
When my thirties rolled around I was a full time mother, wife and businesswoman… Holy crap just writing that gave me a pang of anxiety. I had no time for any of that, let alone time for myself. I was barely hanging on, and multi-tasked to the point of leaving a kid at day-care one day and thinking to myself “That was such a quiet ride home, what am I missing!!!” Oh my God, who the heck does that? Oh that would be me the woman, that was ALL OVER the place, and no where all at the same time! I was in the midst of raising a family, and had absolutely no time for myself. That said I was listening, understanding and maturing. I took snippets of time, and took a breath, otherwise I think I would have drowned in the journey of life. As the kids have aged, and # 1 Traveling companion and I have grown together I have given myself more time for me and to just be. If you know me you will hear that come out of my mouth quiet a bit. I like to take moments and just be.
So what does My 40 look like?
My 40’s rolled around and I stepped out of my comfort zone. I stepped into my 40’s with assertiveness, and a need to be me. So what does any sane newly appointed 40 year old woman do? She takes a vacation on an island in the Caribbean with her photographer husband and engages him in a swimsuit shoot on the beach!!! Hell yes I did.
Why you may ask did I do something like that. Well it is simple, I have gained the confidence I was lacking in my 20’s and although I may not have the body of my 20 year old self, I do have one that I am proud of and have no problem showing. I have the confidence to be in MY BODY, and love it and have fun with it. I carry myself with an air of confidence, I hold my head up and walk with a purpose…
With my 40’s comes maturity, I have successfully raised a family, run a household and worked in the business world. I know what I want, and am able to articulate those wants and needs. I am forthright in what I want, I don’t play mind games any more hoping that “whomever” will get the hint. There are no hints, here it is plain and simple. If you transgress, we will talk and boundaries will be set and we will move on. I don’t want to come back to it and neither should anyone else. I will still love you and I expect the same, the issue was resolved. Slate wiped clean 🙂 Done… Over with….
What a concept, I know, I know….
I liberated myself in my 40’s too… For the longest time I wanted to write, to express myself in another format where I felt freedom.. So there came my blog, nearing its second birthday!!! Women liberate themselves in many different ways during this period of their lives. New look, new body (thanks to diet and the gym) new hair style, new assertiveness, new job, new location, new partner!!! We are all searching for something, and while in our 20’s we were searching for love, and our 30’s we were reaching/searching for the wine, in our 40’s we have learned to love ourselves and feed ourselves what we need. With our confidence we are able to fulfill our own happiness and not look to others to do that for us.
When you look at a woman in her 40’s who has the confidence to laugh out loud, she has discovered that happiness comes from within; she has realized that no one, no material thing will make her happy; only she has the power to do that… We are in our 40’s finally in-charge of ourselves, we have a greater understanding of ourselves.
For that reason we are sensuous… I will let that sink in for a second… Just mull that one over for a second…..
We have confidence, we are not asking for approval all of the time.
We know what we want and we don’t play mind games to get it.
We don’t hold grudges, we wipe the slate clean and move on.
We understand ourselves and feed our own happiness.
All of this makes for a very sensuous woman, and you should as a guy stop and take a look at us with a deeper eye. We will love passionately, we will listen with understanding, we will encourage, and we will be there with no hang ups.
I am loving my 40’s!!!
So are you loving the 40’s girl? What did you learn in your 20’s and 30’s that has helped you to be the WOMAN that you are today?